“Learn to say no. One thing I’ve realized is that often, we sort of trap ourselves into promising more than we can or we want to do, because we have a problem with saying no. Someone asks us for some help, we know they have high expectations of us, and we just can’t make ourselves emotionally to betray those expectations, by saying no.
To get this handled, there is a very important mental leap you must take: to realize that you can’t and you don’t have to please everybody. When you fully embrace this idea, you feel more freedom to not live to everybody’s expectations, and to not be there for everybody. Which makes it easier for you to resist from making promises you can’t or don’t want to fulfill.”—"How To Keep Your Promises." Eduard Ezeanu - www.pickthebrain.com
My social media policy: I don’t need social media to validate my likability through scores of individuals online. I do need to connect intimately and sincerely with the folks that become real friends. I get more value being “seen” by a precious few, than I do being “scanned” by many.
Be patient with yourself. There is only so much you can change in an hour, an afternoon, a day, a week.
That doesn’t mean stop pushing. It simply means listen to your body and give it what it needs to prepare for whatever is next. If you are unsettled, give it peace. If you are tired, give it rest. If you are overstimulated, give it quiet.
So much of our anxiety forms when we feel immobilized by the weight of the unknown. How am I going to get it all done? What if some intangible happens that completely wrecks my plans? Instead of taking a moment to steady the ship, we keep pointing the boat towards an ever changing horizon. We keep pushing forward, distracted and dismayed with no course other than “somewhere other than here.”
Be patient with yourself. Know that you have all the time in the world to accomplish any of the things that truly matter. Because you do.
You are sitting there, and you are reflecting on your own life, all the things that are important, not important but what’s really happening? Seeing the other people you come to that state where you start to feel unconditional love for the total stranger. That is what happened to me. My entire heart opened to the level that was incredible. You see them and by being still they become eyes like the door of the soul, you really start knowing them on the most intimate level. That is why people avoid looking in the eyes, especially here in New York. I looked by now, 1,565 pair of eyes. This is enormous amount of eyes. It was so touching to see I knew the people so intimately but never spoke word with them.
- Performance artist Marina Abramović on her exhibition named “The Artist is Present” at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. Every day, all day, she sat still in a wooden chair and invited visitors to the museum to sit down for a few minutes in the chair across from her.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people with a grand sense of entitlement. If there is something you want to know about me…or anyone else for that matter, why not ask directly? There simply aren’t many people that are subject matter experts on my life or my inner workings to assume it’s safe to assess me by way of a third-party.
If you’ve already asked me and you didn’t get an answer that satisfied your curiosity, then I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but that’s just not information that I think you need in order to have reasonable familiarity with me. Doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Doesn’t even mean that I don’t trust you. It doesn’t mean I keep secrets. It doesn’t mean there’s some major delicious, salacious train wreck of a situation I’m working desperately to keep under wraps. Honestly, I wish I were so mysterious and complicated. The truth is…I’m just not. I simply don’t think it’s your divine right to know or I don’t particularly feel a need or desire to entertain your opinion about the matter.
So like the old song goes, “Don’t ask my neighbor…” But, when and if you do come to me…don’t assume I am required to offer up what you’re looking for.