“21. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something — a person, an experience, a vacation, a job, a book — you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal, and are often disappointed. Instead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.”—38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years | zen habits
Salon.com (War Room): How conspiracy theorists think
I also think it’s true that birtherism is a symbolic issue. The belief that Obama was not born in the United States is symbolic of a gut-level feeling that Obama is somehow an illegitimate American, that his politics are illegitimate, that he’s trying to turn the United States into something that is not American, that he’s against capitalism, that he’s against Christianity, that he hates whites. Some people have swallowed all these points of view. Birtherism is a short-hand for saying, “He’s not a real American.”
Pickthebrain.com: Why Do We Suffer From Low Self-Esteem?
In other words, parents usually want their children to do things that they are developmentally incapable of doing. They want their young children to act like little adults, which they cannot possibly do.
The question is not, Do children frequently “disobey” their parents? Children are developmentally incapable to living up to their parents’ expectations much of the time. The only question is how parents react when their children are not doing what the parents want them to do.
And because few parents go to parenting school and most bring their own beliefs from their childhoods with them, their reactions range from annoyance and frustration to anger and abuse, with every possibility in between.
Salon.com: Why the fat guy should lose his privilege
This is a significant question in a country whose debilitating weight problem is more male than female — and “more” means a heckuva lot more. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, almost 70 percent of men are overweight, compared with 52 percent of women. Yet, somehow, 90 percent of the commercial weight-loss industry’s clients are female, and somehow, this industry hasn’t seen males as a viable business. How can that be?
Market researchers typically explain the situation away in trite “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” platitudes, insisting that it’s only “because men tend to want to lose weight on their own by working out in a health club or designing their own exercise program, and they are less likely to join groups or seek counseling,” as one told Advertising Age. But such generalizations are, at best, truthy, and more likely, completely apocryphal. The real explanation for the gender disparity is found in a chauvinist culture whose double standards demand physical perfection from women while simultaneously celebrating male corpulence.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”—C.S. Lewis (via girlwithoutwings)
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery—isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”—
“What would our world be like if we ceased to worry about “right” and “wrong,” or “good” and “evil,” and simply acted so as to maximize well-being, our own and that of others? Would we lose anything important?”—Sam Harris (via swallow-the-truth)
“[I]t is impossible to miss the racism at work here. This is not Vince Foster. This is not Swiftboating. This is the dude who passed health care reform as “the biggest Affirmative Action in history.” This is the whitey tape. This you are an “Indonesian welfare thug.” This is the host of “Celebrity Apprentice,” questioning the intellect of the past editor of the Harvard Law Review. This is the scion of inherited money as populist, and the scion of a teen single-mother as elitist. This is, if you were white, you and the black dude who came before wouldn’t be here. This is we don’t believe you. In other words, this is a racism of the bone.”—Your Lying Eyes - Ta-Nehisi Coates - National - The Atlantic (via misterjt)
“Racism in our politics is not so much a philosophy as it is a tactic. The goal? Acquire and retain power. This is what it’s is all about. President Obama knows that posting his birth certificate won’t change the minds of some who think he wasn’t born in the United States. The so-called “Birther King” told Mother Jones’ Suzy Khimm today that he’s satisfied by the document, but that there are “other questions,” including the President’s college transcripts (thanks, Mr. Trump) and some wacky nonsense about a Black Nationalist lawyer paying for the President’s college tuition. Birthers may not be convinced until the President actually stops being Black.”—Jamil Smith - The Maddow Blog - Papers, please (via minorjive)
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to…
After Easter’s come and gone, you might find yourself with a basket fullof candy. What to do with all that candy! The obvioussolution (besides eating it) is to make Peeps Smores. Peeps Smores (or PeepSmores) combines those chocolate bunny ea …
“The framing of the country’s unemployment trouble as an unfortunate metastasis of the servant problem should come as no surprise. The country is in the hands of an affluent oligarchy content with Voltaire’s observation that “the comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.””—Lewis Lapham on the servant problem and American jobs. Read more. (via utnereader)
“Many of us can bring about positive effects on our brains and overall well-being—without an Olympic effort.”—Greater Good’s Jason Marsh on new research that shows meditating just 30 minutes a day can strengthen your brain in areas of memory, empathy, and stress reduction. Read more … (via utnereader)
“When people neglect and show indifference to something they don’t understand, there are still real implications to the person who might be experiencing that and in the thick of it. I know I was stressed. I know I was spread thin. I know I could have made better decisions and put more effort into projects but ultimately, at the end of the day, I was doing the best I can. That bears repeating: I was doing the very best I can.”— Derrick Jefferson otherwise known as geekandahalf (via mellemusic)
Nietzsche was wise “When one is young, one deifies and despises, without that art of nuance which is the finest gain in life, and understandably one must atone hard for having so battered people and things with Yes and No. Everything is arranged so that the very worst of tastes, the taste for the unconditional, should be cruelly duped and abused, until the subject learns to put a little art into his feelings, even to make a stab at the artificial: that is what the real artists of life do.” — Beyond Good and Evil